(4 minutes read time)
Fair warning: If you’re like me, you’re going to want some tissues nearby for the beginning of this email. But by the end, you’ll know exactly what to do so you don’t end up in the same situation. Hugs…
“I can’t do this,” I said as I slumped to the floor surrounded by a pile of my mother’s clothes.
I had just pulled EVERYTHING out of the closet just like those “organizing experts” said to do.
“It smells like her,” I sobbed into my mom’s favorite dress. I closed my eyes and inhaled the scent of orange blossoms and imagined us standing in the garden in Sorrento.
“Donate the clothes to someone who needs it,” my well-meaning friends said.
“It will make you feel better knowing you’ve helped someone else.”
But I wasn’t ready.
Every single piece of clothing still smells like her. We should be standing in the garden together. We should still be laughing, shopping, and doing all the things mothers and daughters do.
But now all I have left are memories and a bunch of clothes.
I must be a horrible person. There are women out there that need this stuff.
But I can’t… I just CAN’T!
Have you ever experienced this? Because decluttering sounds simple enough to do in theory, but in practice? Not so much.
Not a lot of people talk about the *emotional* effects of decluttering or re-organization and that’s why I wanted to say it out loud:
Decluttering can be emotionally heavy. Especially when it brings up feelings of grief.
Now, there are the obvious types of grief – like the loss of a loved one.
But there are others that don’t get enough credit.
Things like:
Loss of a relationship
Loss of independence
Loss of the dreams
Reminders of the past… of when the kids were little
And traumatic memories as well
It’s natural to avoid those feelings. And as women with ADHD, we feel our feelings soooo much deeper.
We’re taught to purge, toss, donate all the things we love and therefore obtain enlightenment by embracing the minimalist aesthetic.
FULL. STOP.
But the good news? You won’t experience any of that here. NOT with me.
You are safe from that kind of BS.
You get to keep the things you truly love and cherish like your daughter’s christening gown and your grandmother’s favorite tea cup.
But here’s the thing: some of the other stuff eventually needs to go if your home is always a hot mess.
However, we don’t start with your treasures.
Let’s start with the trash and the no brainer donations instead.
This way you make room for what truly matters.Easy peasy.
ADHD Decluttering Tip for Real Life – Create a Treasure-Filled Memory Bin
As you’re decluttering the trash and unspecial stuff, you’ll likely come across treasures.
When you do, put them in a Memory Bin. Keep your Memory Bin nearby when you’re decluttering so you don’t have to lose momentum to go get it.
Make sure your Memory Bin is sturdy and has a lid. You want to protect your treasures from moisture, pests, and dust. A cardboard box will NOT suffice.
At first, everything might go in the Memory Bin, and that’s OK.
As you build your decluttering muscles, it will get easier.
You will learn to trust yourself and know when something is truly special or not.
Remember:
Skip the sentimental stuff.
Start with the trash.
Keep the sessions short so you don’t burn out.
P.S. Need extra decluttering help? I coaching a small group of women to declutter their entryway and kitchen.
Notice how we’re starting with places that have the least sentimental stuff… that’s intentional. I know you want to jump right into your clothes or the kids’ toys, but that’s an emotional trap that you’re not ready for yet.
You’ll have my direct support while you build that confidence and those decluttering muscles by getting the most visible areas in tip top shape. Get on the Interest List here.
Learn more about Group Declutter Coaching.
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